


Days in the forest

by foggysundays



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Animal Transformation, Curses, Gen, Humor, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 07:54:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11527887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggysundays/pseuds/foggysundays
Summary: Sam and Dean are hunting a witch when they´re hit by a curse again. Luckily for them, this one´s more of the entertaining kind.The one where Sam´s a moose and Dean´s adorable.





	Days in the forest

**Author's Note:**

> I know shit about those kinds of animals and their behaviour, so sorry for any inaccuracies. :D

Dean Winchester hated witches.

They were messy for one. Blood, entrails, eyeballs – those fuckers used more body parts and fluids for a single spell than Tarantino in a three-hour movie.

Many of them were just plain stupid or greedy or both, dealing with powers they didn’t understand and sooner or later falling victim to their own foolishness.

It was the clever ones though, that you had to watch out for. They were secretive and careful, all too aware of hunters and the threat they posed. It was a challenge to catch them, a game of cat and mouse were the roles of prey and predator could switch in a single heartbeat – and while he loved the hunt and the thrill of a victory, he freaking loathed the times a witch managed to kick his ass.

 

* * *

 

 

He woke up with a headache.

With a groan, Dean flopped to his back, hands blindly reaching for his phone while he tried to remember what the hell he´d done last night to deserve such a punishment. He remembered hours upon hours of research and going to a bar with Sam for some pool and a couple of beers, but he was pretty sure they had stopped after four or five drinks, nothing to warrant the feeling of an industrial sized hammer crashing down on his head. Repeatedly.

Finding neither his phone nor a satisfying explanation, he brought his hands up to his face to check for injuries. Some stupid bar fight maybe?

The touch of his right hand to his jaw made him freeze. He slowly popped one eye open and stared at the _thing_ that had been his hand a few hours earlier– full of callouses and scars, sturdy fingers that were a little crocked from breaking a few times too many. In short: human. Well, not so much now. Instead there was fur. Black fur and long claws and a very distinct paw-ness.

Crap.

He scrambled upright, but considering that his brain was still used to coordinate two very human legs and arms instead of four rather small limbs, he really should have expected to fall out of his bed and land in a rather undignified pile of paws and fur and – fucking hell - a freaking tail.

He scowled at the offending appendage and pushed it back between his hind legs before standing up more carefully this time. A look to his bed that seemed miles away confirmed that he was indeed damn small and wasn’t that just great! He was tiny and fury and – judging by his tail – also fluffy. Sam would never let him live this down.

Speaking of Sam, he really should check on his baby brother before the idiot got himself into some sort of trouble again. Knowing their luck, he´d probably turned into a puppy and was currently being adopted by some weirdo with a dog fetish. Yeah, Dean was rather the optimist this fine morning.

Walking on four legs turned out to be more complicated than he´d thought – there were just too many limbs to move and to relocate at the same time and he got pretty tangled up for a few moments before he finally got the hang of it.

He circled his own bed to get closer to the weird snoring noises he had just picked up on. It sounded like Sam´s snoring, but deeper and well, decidedly less human, so he braced himself for the sight of another reddish cat on the second bed (He was pretty sure he was a cat, anyway. Though unfortunately more of a simple housecat than something more badass like a panther. Why couldn’t it have been something badass this time?).

What he wasn’t prepared for was the sight of long, hooved legs sticking out of a giant mountain of brownish fur, the whole thing sprawled on the bed in an uncoordinated heap, the bedframe bowing dangerously under the weight of the thing. And wait – was that antlers?

Dean took a few steps back to get his ass out of the impact zone of any flying limps. Sam was a freaking klutz on his best mornings and waking up in a new body certainly wouldn’t improve things – he´d rather not die as a fury pancake on the carpet because his brother accidently sat on him.

 _Well, let´s see what those new vocal chords can do_!

Trying for his best shit-has-gone-down-voice he opened his mouth to shout “Sammy!”.

What came out was an embarrassing high-pitched twitter that sounded distinctly less than a badass tomcat and more like a tiny spider monkey. Just freaking perfect.

He tried again with the same result and without as much as a twitch from the fur mountain, so he braced himself and gathered every ounce of breath he could fit into his tiny lungs and screamed his brother´s name both physically and mentally.

That finally seemed to do the trick. Sam´s giant head snapped up and his legs flailed helplessly in an attempt to find purchase on the bed.

 _Dean_!

Of course, he wasn’t any better than Dean when it came to handling new bodies and so he failed to compensate for his greater bodyweight and crashed to the ground with an impact that rattled the whole room and swept the bedside lamp off the table.

_What the actual hell? Dean! DEAN, where are you?_

His brother managed to arrange his legs in a somewhat more orderly fashion that allowed him to stand up, but actual moving was way harder. He scrambled around like a new-born giraffe, all flying limbs and frantically turning head, the unfamiliar weight of his antlers making the movements jerky and lethal to every object in his vicinity.

 _Sam! Stop! Fucking stop moving before you trash the whole room_!

The distressed moose noises stopped immediately, but Sam was still turning his head, apparently trying to figure out where the voice was coming from.

 _I´m here, bitch! On my bed_. Dean had hopped up there to make things easier on his brother.

Damn, Sam was massive!

A huge nose was thrust into his face.

_Dean? Is that really you?_

_Damn right it is, idiot._

_Why can I hear you in my head?_

_Turns out animals are telepathic? Or maybe that´s just part of the spell_?

Sam reeled back. _Spell_?

 _How else would you explain this mess? We´re after a witch and suddenly we wake up as the main plotline of Dr. Dolittle? Sounds like a spell to me_.

 _But why this? Why not kill us_?

Dean shrugged as well as he could manage on four legs. _Distraction? Because she liked my tight ass? Seriously, not a freaking clue, bro_.

_Gross, Dean. But why did she turn us into different kinds of animals? You´re tiny, dude!_

_That´s because you´re the damn Mount Everest of the Animal Kingdom. At least I got some awesome claws_! He raised one paw and let the claws snap out. They looked long and sharp and vicious. He grinned smugly at them.

Sam snorted. _What kind of animal am I, anyway? Some sort of deer_?

 _Nope. You´re a moose, Sammy boy. Antlers and all. Crowley will have the time of his life_.

 _Of course, I would be the moose. Great. But hey, at least I´m not the fluffy, adorable one_!

Dean wrinkled his nose. _I am NOT adorable, asshat! I might be a freaking cat, but hey, they can be damn vicious! Teeth and claws, dude! Teeth and claws!_

 _Dean. You´re not a cat. You´re a panda_.

He froze. _Bull. Shit_.

_No, really! You´re a damn panda! Just look at you, you´re all cuddly and cute, fluffy tail and huge ears. Totally adorable._

_I am NOT CUDDLY!_

_Yes, Dean, you really, really are_.

 _Am not! And quit the panda bullshit! I´m way too small to be a panda! And my fur - uh, hair is red, not black and white. I´m not some bamboo-chewing teddy bear_!

_I´m not talking panda-panda. You´re a red panda._

_A what now?_

_A red panda. Way smaller than a giant panda, I think most of them live in Nepal and the surrounding areas and hey, they do eat bamboo among other things. They´re not bears, though. You´re practically a reddish, very adorable raccoon_.

Dean pouted. Why the hell did he have to be the fluffy, cuddly one while Sam was a terrifying badass moose thing with enormous antlers.

_Karma, jerk. Karma or the simple fact that human-you is a giant teddy bear despite your butch exterior._

_Stop psycho-analyzing me! And get out of my head, you were not supposed to hear that_!

 _Then stop projecting your thoughts everywhere! Get some control, dude_!

He growled and bared his teeth at his brother. They might be rather tiny but they certainly felt sharp.

Sam just rolled his eyes -  a gesture that looked ridiculous on his moose face but was still so very Sam.

_Stop bickering, Dean, and help me think! We need to find a way to get out of this mess! Maybe we should call Cas?_

_We´re not calling Cas! Are you insane? We´ll never live this down if we do! The dude´s obsessed with Instagram!_

_Fair enough, but what else can we do?_

_Find the witch._

_Find the – Dean! We can´t leave the room like this!_

_Of course we can! I might not be a native animal, but as you said: I´m tiny! I can sneak around! Plus, my nose is approximately a million times better than before, I´m pretty sure I can sniff her out_!

Dean could only admire Sam´s talent at throwing him a bitchface even when he suddenly sported a face that had nostrils the size of dinner plates.

_How the hell do you know how she smells?_

_You remember that cute Asian chick at the bar? She was pretty hot but also gave me the shivers, something about her just felt wrong. She smelled like a freaking herb garden. It was not enough to set me off then, but looking back now_ …

 _All right then. But I´m coming with you_.

_You are not! Sam, you´re practically double the size of the Impala now! No way I can smuggle you out of the motel room let alone sneak up on someone when you are with me! No freaking way, dude!_

_I´m not letting you go out there all alone! You´re defenseless_!

Dean bared his teeth again and hissed loudly. _Care to repeat that_?

_Fine! But what are you going to do once you find her? Suffocate her with your tail?_

_As if you´d do any better! You can´t just sit on people and squeeze them to death_!

They stared at each other for a few long moments.

Dean scowled.

Sam´s lips trembled.

He scowled harder.

The trembling increased. Giant, worry-filled eyes fixed him with a look that Baby-Sam had always used on him whenever he didn’t want to be left alone.

 _Fucking hell! Fine! I´m taking you with me! You happy now, bitch_?

Sam´s giant lips pulled back in a grin. _Yep. Perfectly fine! So, what are we waiting for_?

 

* * *

 

 

Sneaking Sam out of the room was just as hard as Dean had expected. It didn’t help that his brother was still not used to handling his giant body – he could only hope that this problem would solve itself soon, just thinking of the amount of time it took Teenage-Sam to properly coordinate his steadily growing legs… It had been a nightmare.

Fortunately it was pretty early in the morning and most people were still sleeping. Dean was pressed up to the window, his body mostly hidden by the ugly yellow curtain as he glanced outside, waiting for the right moment to start their sprint to the nearby forest. He had to wait for two guys in running gear to make up their mind and stop making out in favor of actually starting their morning run, and then another twenty minutes for a distraught father who didn’t seem to get his toddler to fall asleep again.

It was then that he learned that Sam´s muzzle was damn sensitive and Dean´s claws just as sharp as he had thought- but come on! The idiot had it coming when he suggested that Dean should go over and offer himself as a cuddly toy. He definitely deserved those scratches on his nose.

Finally, the coast was clear.

Dean hopped off his perch and darted to the door, opening it with a rather elegant jump to the handle.

 _Run, you idiot_!

Sam charged outside as silently as he could manage.

Which was to say: not silent at all.

His antlers banged against the door frame and rattled it, forcing him to turn his head sideways to fit through the opening. The impact had punched a surprised moose-noise from his lungs that certainly served to wake half the neighborhood and the clattering of hooves on gravel was probably enough to alarm the rest.

Dean sighed and pawed the door shut, following Sam at a more sedate pace and with significantly less sound effects. He mainly kept to the bottom side of the cars in the parking lot to escape the scrutiny of motel guests that were just starting to open their doors, looking for the source of the ruckus.

At least Sam was pretty damn fast, his giant body had already disappeared into the thick undergrowth of the forest by the time the first head popped out of a window, but stealth really wasn’t his forte. Neither was inconspicuousness for that matter, even a blind person could have found the moose-sized hole in the bushes surrounding the small forest area. Luckily, they were sorta close to the Canadian border and while moose didn’t venture that far south very often it was still not that unusual.

He found Sam waiting for him on a small clearing not far from the edge of the forest, chewing on some leaves and looking rather happy about it.

 _What_? Sam sounded offended by his scrutiny. _I´m freaking hungry and this doesn’t taste half bad_!

Dean couldn’t suppress his snicker. _Figures. This isn’t even that different from your usual rabbit food, guess you´re just going even more Paleo than you normally would_.

_I´ll have you know that a Paleo Diet is considered to be quite healthy and –_

_Shut it, Sammy. I´m not discussing food with you right now_! His stomach growled. _Are maybe I am_. _Where am I supposed to find bamboo around here_?

Sam shrugged. _A botanical garden? But pandas can eat other stuff, too! I think you´ll be find with leaves, probably also insects, eggs or berries if you can find some_.

Dean balked. _I am not eating any freaking bugs! Not gonna happen! I´d rather starve_!

 _Suit yourself, jerk. I won´t be the one going hungry here_.

 _You don’t suppose pandas are able to stomach burgers? Or pancakes_?

Sam´s bitchface was answer enough.

 

* * *

 

 

Luckily for Dean, Sam managed to run into an apple tree on their track through the forest.

Since they couldn’t just wander around the small town in broad daylight, they´d decided to stick to the trees for now, circling the human settlement and trying to catch a sniff of herbs or sulfur, anything to clue them in on the whereabouts of their witch.

Dean had soon discovered that he was quite the talented tree climber, his claws were awesome when it came to that and he was limber enough to dash from tree to tree right above Sam´s head.

Giving in to his growling stomach, Dean had already snacked on a few mushrooms and berries, but still felt hungry. He was currently sitting in front of some acorns, trying to decide if they would be worth the effort or just taste like shit, when another crash echoed through the forest, immediately followed by mournful moose-noises.

Dean rolled his eyes, his idiot brother really needed to learn how to coordinate his freakish body, he´d get himself killed in no time if he kept this up. Darting through the undergrowth, he quickly came up upon the fur mountain that was his brother. Sam had made no move to get up yet, but was starring accusingly at the tree in front of him.

 _It´s not the tree´s fault, Sammy. It didn’t just grow there all of a sudden to knock you on your ass_.

Sam grumbled something.

_What was that?_

_I – I can´t see that well, Dean. It´s all blurry and in weird colors_. Sammy sounded like a petulant child.

_So what? You can´t even see a freaking tree?_

_Of course, I can! I was just – distracted_.

_By?_

_…. Watching my feet_.

Dean snickered.

_Shut up, jerk! My legs are freakishly long and it´s hard to keep them from tangling up!_

_And I have a freaking tail that has a mind of its own, Sam. Just forget about being human and about how you THINK your body should work, let your instincts take over, not your brain! Or how do you think did I learn to climb trees all of a sudden._

_Seriously?_

_Seriously. But hey, look on the bright side, at least you found some actual food_!

After stuffing themselves with apples, they continued their hike, stopping occasionally to sniff the air and change their route accordingly. They had caught on a distinct herb smell a while ago and by the looks of it, they were getting closer.

Unfortunately, Dean was getting tired. He had never had problems with keeping up with Sam´s longer legs before, but right now their height difference was enormous and it took him a lot of effort to match Sam´s pace.

 _This is not going to work_.

Sam turned and eyed him quizzically. _What is_?

_Walking. We´re barely gaining any headway and it´s already noon. No way that witch is going to stay here much longer – if she´s not long gone already. We need to go faster._

_Okay. We can do that._

_You do, I can´t. My legs are not even a tenth of yours, I won´t be able to keep up with you_.

……

_No, Dean. Absolutely not!_

_Come on, Sammy! Do it for me!_

_No!_

_You won´t even notice me! I weigh barely ten pounds wet!_

_I´m not your damn war horse, Dean_!

_War moose, then. Come on, Sam! I´ll even do laundry for the next two months! And let you pick our food for a week!_

_Two weeks._

_Ten days._

_… Deal._

_Awesome_! Dean heaved a sigh of relief and swaggered up to his brother, climbing him like a tree and making sure to use a bit more claws than strictly necessary. Just a slight poking to reassert his status as the older and more dangerous brother. Sammy grumbled in annoyance, but allowed him to perch on his head right between his antlers. It was a rather nice place, cozy and comfortable and nearly as good a look-out as the trees had been.

 _Come on, Spirit! Charge! Off to war we ride_!

_I´ll never let you watch that damn movie ever again! And if you start singing one of the songs, I´ll throw you off and sit on you!_

_Jeez, Sammy! Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed, huh_?

He yelped when Sam´s giant head swerved around and dug his claws in the fur to stay seated.

_Ouch! Watch your claws, jerk!_

_Then stop moving around like an idiot, bitch_!

 

* * *

 

 

  
As it turned out, their arrangement was beneficial for the both of them. Dean´s eyes were much sharper than Sam´s and from his perch on his brother´s head he had the perfect view and opportunity to guide his war moose through the forest and closer to the witches’ house.

_What´s your plan for once we´ve found her?_

_Talk, I guess. If she had wanted to kill us, we´d already be dead. Maybe we can negotiate something._

_Negotiate? With a witch? Who are you and what have you done to my brother?_

_Shut up, bitch! We both know that this one wasn’t responsible for the murders, but maybe she´s the one that iced the fucker that was. Man, that corpse really wasn’t pretty. And you´ve said yourself that it looked a lot like the work of some hex bags._

_Alright. But if this goes sideways, I´m gonna haunt your ass_!

It took them another twenty minutes to close in on the right house, the smell of herbs permeating the air around it and marking it as the most likely candidate for their hunt.

_Alright, Sam. You´ll stay here, no way you can sneak up on her, not with that giant ass of yours! I´ll go._

_We´ve already discussed this, Dean! No way I´m letting you go in there alone!_

_You won´t even be able to get in! See, I can climb that tree over there and slip in through the window on the second floor! You´ll never fit through that one and I´m not about to let you break down the damn door_!

Their bickering came to an abrupt stop, when the backdoor of the house opened and their witch stepped out.

“You can come out, you know. That tiny bush is not nearly big enough to conceal a moose your size, sweetheart.”

 _How the hell does she know who we are_?

“Unfortunately, I can´t understand your twittering, darling. Neither am I fluent in moose-speak, but I´m pretty sure I know what your question was. The answer is quite simple: I don’t think there´s ever been a moose teaming up with a red panda in all of earth´s history. You two look cute, though. And a very interesting choice of species, by the way. My spell is meant to transform you into whatever animal is closest to you in character. Usually it´s cat and dogs and birds, but you two are quite the unique case.”

Dean stared at the witch. _What! Are you saying that my freaking spirit animal is a PANDA! A cuddly, fluffy teddy bear! Oh, shut the fuck up, Sammy! Being a goddamn moose is no compliment either_!

The woman sighed. “I´m very sorry to inconvenience you, I´m sure your decent guys but I couldn’t give you the chance to kill me. I am not responsible for the death of those civilians, but I guess you already knew that. I´m a hunter myself, monitoring my own kind, killing those who break too many rules or get too greedy to care for human life anymore. This spell will break after approximately forty-eight hours, you´ll change back completely and without any lasting side-effects. By that time, I`ll be long gone. Don’t follow me, I´ll be less lenient next time.”

Then she was gone.

From one moment to the other. No trace of her anywhere, the smell of herbs dissipating rapidly.

 _Awesome. Well, at least we´ll not stay like this forever_.

 

* * *

 

 

Their hunt had been rather… anticlimactic. Seriously, they hadn’t even been able to gank anything and they were still stuck in their new, fury bodies.

Dean wasn’t all that happy, but there was not much for them to do about it. Short of calling Cas and asking for a cure that is – and he´d still rather spend some more time as a freaking bear than have more people laugh at him until the end of his days.

_You´re not a bear, idiot. That is actually quite a common misconception, but according to a newer taxonomic classification you´re part of – ouch!_

_Stop lecturing me, bitch. I´m not in the mood for a biology lesson. Just eat your apples and enjoy the sun_.

After their unsuccessful meeting with the witch, they had decided that their best course of action was to lay low and stay in the forest until their curse had worn off. So they´d roamed around for a bit and had finally settled at a small lake, another apple tree conveniently close.

Dean had spent some time swimming around, catching a fish or two and gulping them down raw, much to Sam´s disgust. He had lain down in a spot close to his brother after that, curling up and letting the afternoon sun dry his fur. It was actually rather relaxing.

Sam hadn’t been that fond of the water after Dean had used his head as a diving board a few times, ass bombing into the lake and spraying water everywhere. Spoilsport.

The giant was now sprawled in the grass under the apple tree, lazily munching away on some apples and apparently enjoying himself.

Suddenly, Sam´s ears pricked up. Dean had heard the rustling noises as well, the sounds of a huge body moving through the thick growth of the forest and closing in on them. He was at his brother´s side in an instant, standing on his hind legs, claws drawn and teeth bared in an effort to look as dangerous as possible. Sam didn’t move a hair, just stayed where he was, his eyes searching the trees.

 _Not that I´m not able to kick the ass of whatever is preying on us right now, but I´d appreciate your help nonetheless, Sammy_.

Sam sniffed. _No need. It´s just another moose_.

_Another – What? And what if it decides to chase us out of its territory?_

_Not gonna happen. I think she´s just curious._

_She._

_Yes. She._

_Okay then_. Dean watched as the lady in question slowly moved from behind her cover, tentatively entering their clearing. Sam decided that now was a great time to make his own move, standing up elegantly and unfolding his whole body in one smooth glide. He tilted his head in a way that was obviously meant to show off his antlers and lifted a leg, flexing the muscles in the moose-version of a body-builder flexing his biceps.

Dean burst out laughing, not even ashamed of the high twittering noises that erupted from his mouth.

 _Jesus fucking Christ, Sammy! Are you seriously flirting with a moose_!

His brother had the decency to look sheepish and Dean was pretty sure that human Sam would´ve been blushing profusely.

 _I can´t help it_! He hissed. _It´s pure instinct, jerk_!

Dean cracked up even more. _Oh fuck! It´s September, dude! Isn´t that when mating season starts_?

Sam´s giant head whipped around and he stared at his brother in wordless horror. _No_!

 _Oh God, this is freaking awesome_!

 _Dean! Shit, she´s coming closer! You need to help me, I mean I can´t – There´s no way I – DEAN_!

 _Need me to rescue you from the besotted moose lady, baby bro_? He wasn’t even joking really. The female in front of them was eyeing Sam with an obvious case of bedroom-eyes, her nostrils flaring as she scented the air. In the meantime, Sam had decided that it was safer to hide behind his big brother, instincts be damned. Dean was pretty sure he deserved a damn Oscar for not breaking down into another fit of giggles at the mental image of 1400 lbs of giant moose hiding behind a tiny red panda.

Sam´s admirer seemed a bit put off by the tiny, hissing thing in front of her, recoiling slightly when Dean advanced, brandishing his claws like swords.

 _…Mate_?

Okay, that answered their question about a telepathic link between all animals.

 _He´s not your mate, lady! This moose is already spoken for, I can guarantee that_!

Her confusion grew. _But he sent the signal. I could smell him for miles_! She inclined her head to indicate a spot to their left that Sam had used as a make-shift toilet a few hours back.

 _What? I mean, no I didn’t! I´d never sent mating signals, I swear! I´m sorry, but I´m really not up for that, I mean_ –

The female snorted. _Perfect. Another one of those younglings who have no idea how to treat a lady. You´d better get your head into the game until next year or you´ll never attract a mate. I´ll be around if you change your mind_. And with that she turned around and stalked away.

They both stared at her retreating back for a few heartbeats and then Dean collapsed into even more laughter, his whole body shaking with it.

 _Jesus, Sammy!_ He was gasping for air now _. I haven’t laughed this hard in ages! This was freaking awesome, man! You just got dumped by a damn cougar moose_!

 _Not funny, Dean_!

 _I just saved you from fathering moose babies, dude. I´m allowed to laugh all I want_.

 

* * *

 

 

The decided to spend the night in their clearing by the lake – it was easier than sneaking in and out of the motel and the weather was still quite warm and dry for mid-September. They snuggled close to each other anyway, Sam lying down on the grass and Dean curling up on a particularly soft spot of fur on his back.

_Just don´t squish me in your sleep, bitch._

_Love you, too, jerk_.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day was mostly spend like the one before. The had a walk in the forest to search for more food and then spend some more time swimming, eating and sleeping at their lake. It was nice and quiet and the first day in ages where they didn’t have to think about their next hunt or if there was still enough money left for food and a bed. As much as Dean was looking forward to having his real body back, he couldn’t deny that this sort of life had a certain appeal.

Their luck turned somewhat when Sam discovered a new apple tree.

Dean had just rolled his eyes and made himself comfortable on a branch of the tree next to it. His brother had developed a serious obsession with apples and would probably have spent the whole day in search of another tree if Dean had let him.

He must have dozed off at some point because the next thing he was aware of was an earthquake shaking up his tree and forcing him to dig his claws into the bark to keep from falling off.

 _Sammy_?

_I´m down here, De!_

He looked down to see his brother sprawled at the foot of his tree, his legs all tangled up again and a dopey smile on his moose face. No earthquake, then. Just Sam.

Dean hopped down from his perch and squinted at the still smiling giant in front of him.

 _Sam – Are you DRUNK_?

The idiot giggled. _I think I am, De. Tooootally drunk_.

 _Where the hell did you find alcoh – Ah, shit!_ He scrambled over to the apple tree and gingerly sniffed at one of the very few remaining fruits on the ground.

 _You idiot, didn’t you taste the alcohol on your food? Those apples are fermented_!

Sam snickered. _I know and it´s awesome._ _Apples are awesome! You´re awesome, too_!

He tried to pull his legs back under his torso, swaying dangerously as he stood up again, nearly toppling over a few times. Dean stepped in his way when he tried to stumble over to the apple tree again.

_I think you´ve had enough, Sammy. We´ll better find a place for you to sleep this off._

His brother pouted at him. _But those apples are delish…. delilic… yummy. They´re yummy, De. You should have some, too._

_Thanks, bro, but I think you´ve had enough for the both of us. It will be hard to maneuver your giant drunk ass as it is, I´m not about to let you have even more alcohol!_

It took him a lot of gentle coaxing and vicious threats to steer the drunk-off-his-ass-moose away from the tree and towards a more or less hidden place where Sam could sleep the apples off. It didn’t help that Sam started signing stupid songs after a while, doing his best to articulate the words and melody with his giant lips.

 _Seriously, Sam. If you don’t stop making stupid moose noises right this very moment, I´m gonna kick your ass so hard you won´t be able to walk for a week! Shut the hell up_!

By the time Sam was snoring loudly in an uncomfortable looking heap on the floor, Dean was drenched in sweat and at the end of his rope. God, he couldn’t wait to have his normal sized body back!

After dozing away most of the day already, he still wasn’t exhausted enough for sleeping, though. And Sam was probably as safe as he ever could be, so Dean decided to roam through the nearby forest for a while yet, enjoying his sharpened senses and the use of his claws.

He had just come across some more mushrooms when a delicious smell hit his sensitive nose. Sniffling cautiously for a moment, he decided to follow the scent to its origin – the rubbish bin of a nearby house. His disgust at searching through other people´s waste was quickly forgotten in face of his growling stomach, so he hopped over and stuck his nose into the bin, looking for the treat. Before he even had the chance to locate it, a vicious growling sound behind his back snapped him out of his hungry fervor. Oh fuck no.

Turning around he wasn’t all that surprised to find himself face to face with a giant, mean-looking dog that was easily four times his size and snarling menacingly at him.

_Get away from my food, kitty cat._

_I am not a freaking cat, idiot!_

The dog narrowed his eyes. _Yes, you are! A rather ugly cat, to be honest, but still a cat_.

Dean bristled at that. Ugly! Him?!

 _Shut your mouth, mutt! And this is definitely not your food! I was here first_!

A louder growl this time. _This is my last warning, kitty. Step away or I´ll have a taste of ugly cat for dessert._

Dean raised a paw, sharp claws glinting in the light of the streetlamp, ready to strike.

_You sure about that? I might be cuddly and adorable, but I can still kick your ass, buddy!_

The dog grinned. _Oh, this will be fun. Say goodbye, kitty_.

Then he pounced.

Dean was more than prepared for him. He side-stepped the first attack and used the other´s momentum to stab at his unprotected tummy, adding four long gashes to the scar collection there. The dog yipped in pain and swirled around again, attacking even more viciously with teeth and claws, but Dean was faster. He was used to fighting monsters that were much stronger and bigger than him anyway – dog or vampire, not that much of a difference.

It did not take long till the dog was cowering in a corner, his back pressed to the wall as he shook in fear. Dean grinned a bloody smile and stepped back to allow the other animal to leave.

 _And don’t you ever forget that a freaking kitty cat fucked you up_!

Satisfied, he turned back to the bin and fished for the burger left-overs. Well, at least he´d had one decent meal in the last two days.

 

* * *

 

 

He curled up with a still snoring Sammy a bit later, cuddling close and dozing for a few hours until dawn woke him up. Their initial plan had been to get back to their room during the night because as curses went, they were very likely to end up naked once they had transformed back. And wouldn’t it be fun to be standing in a damn forest buck naked and shivering? And that didn’t even cover their walk of shame back to the motel room. No, didn’t sound like fun.

Unfortunately, Sam was still pretty much out of it and since Dean could neither wake nor move him...

Sneaking back alone was much easier – Sam-the-human might be stealthy and quiet despite his size, but Sam-the-moose was a train wreck in that department. Dean ducked through the abandoned parking lot by himself, stopping only for a minute to check Baby for any injuries. Finding none he moved on, picking the lock to their room with one of his claws (which was harder than expected) and finally pushing it closed behind his back – just in time for the world to go black. The last thing he remembered was the feeling of bones shifting underneath his skin.

 

* * *

 

 

When he came to, his world had the right colors again, the right sharpness, the right smells. His limbs where no longer fury and short, his ears back to a normal size.

He was also totally naked. Yep, Sammy would be throwing a fit.

Being the caring big brother that he was, Dean still decided on a quick shower to get rid of the phantom feeling of fur all over his body before dressing quickly and grabbing his key, wallet and some clothes for Sam.

He found his brother hiding behind some bushes, impatience radiating off him in waves.

“Hiding in the bushes like a pervert, Sammy?”

“Dean!” Sam´s voice held equal parts of relief and annoyance. “Thank God, I was not sure if you would find me! There´s people around, De! A school class exploring the forest and if they find me here without my clothes….”

Dean snickered. “I think you´ve had enough people ogling you in the last two days, dude. You´re lucky I´m awesome and brought you clothes.”

Sam caught his things thankfully and pulled them on as quickly as possible before abandoning his cover.

“Jesus, I´m glad this is over and we´re both back to normal. That was crazy even for us!”

“… Uh, Sammy? I think _normal_ might be a strong word? Unless you´ve kept those antlers hidden from me for all your life?”

Sam´s look of horror quickly transformed to annoyance when his hands only met air instead of bone.

“You jerk! For a moment I thought – I hate you sometimes, you know that, right?”

“Course I do, bitch. Now come on, time for a shower and then: breakfast! I´d kill for some coffee right now!… Oh, and Sammy? If you ever breath one word about my cuddly problem, remember that I have plenty of dirt on you as well!”


End file.
